After being given the diagnosis, I had to take time to ponder the way my life was going to go. I mean, being given a possible early death sentence wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to take. I was a senior in high school; I had dreams of going to college, working at a job I loved, helping others through that job, creating my own family. I would like to say that I took it all in stride, but to be honest, I didn't. I was angry at first, and then I was depressed for a while. It took quite a bit before I could finally accept the fact that I had this disease. Now, what I chose to do while going through this was the question.
With this disease, my healthy means more than ever, if I want to live as long as I possibly can. I was prescribed the three general medicines for IPF: prednisone, azathioprine, and n-acetylcysteine. In addition, I had medicines to combat the side effects of these medicines. For me, this disease means that I need to keep up with my medicines as well as keep my body as healthy as possible, in whatever way I can.
My short term goals really haven't changed. I will continue to focus on the rest of my senior year, look forward to graduation, and just live life every single day in a way that I will have no regrets.
As for my long term goals, I still look forward to working hard at college, obtaining my dream job, creating a family. If I am part of the 60%, then these goals probably aren't realistic, but hoping is better than moping a fate that probably won't change no matter how I react towards it.
It does make me stop and think. Not only about the end of my life, whenever that may be, but how I live life now. It isn't easy, yes, but I have wonderful friends and family who have supported and will support me every step of the way and that's a great foundation to be grounded in. I can still look forward to the life I will live and I will still fight--I've always been quite stubborn after all--though it is a losing battle. Having this disease and the looming fear that I could die soon makes me realize that life is a gift. Whenever you feel pain, it's a gift, because it tells you that you are breathing, that you are alive. For now, I will treasure the past but not dwell on what has happened because after all, how I live in my present will determine how I will face my future.